Day 20 of 99 Days to 9/9 or FASDay is all about the relationship! This example is such a great one for me. I don’t know how other parents, caregivers or support people will relate, but for myself, the crone and the maiden this one is one we need to remind ourselves about often.
“Beeping and clicking all freaking day” – not sure I could describe this any better. The maiden’s mind works faster (her processing may be slow but her thinking is fast) than mine. If she is excited about something, she talks, and she fidgets and she moves. And it doesn’t stop. It takes great effort and strength to remain calm and centred and not react. This is when it is important to remember my sacred breath among the chaos of FASD. For more on this, check out: Self Regulation in FASD and me.
I hear well-meaning people say, “All children are like that,” and I say, “Yes, many are. When they are young. And they grow out of it. Eleven years later and the maiden has not grown out of it.” One thing I have found challenging about parenting the maiden is that no matter how much she has matured, in many ways she stays the same.
I know it will even out, and eventually, she will reach a level of maturity that will make it seem like she has “grown up” – but it is a very long time and people don’t understand how much effort it takes to maintain a positive focus when ten years later we are still dealing with the same issues.
But, as this series of tips on the NB approach has shown, we need to change the environment and accommodate.
79 more days to go! Lots of tips, quotes, stats and interesting information to come!