While helping the maiden clean her room this week, we came across this little booklet I had made for her when she was nine. We read through it and had a good laugh.
It was made as a quiet activity for her to do in the morning if she woke up before me. I had hoped that by the action of writing the rules her brain, and the repetition of writing and repeating might retain more than if just spoken.
Inside were the following guidelines for good behaviour:
1. I will be kind and gentle to the dogs and cats or I’m grounded.
2. Arguing with mommy or grandma will lead to an early bedtime.
3. I will use my words if I have a problem to solve.
4. I know that NO and rules mean love too.
5. Every member of this family, including me, must act responsibly.
6. When I tell the truth, people learn to trust me.
7. I need only to be reminded once to do something.
8. My job is to go to school, to learn, and do my best.
9. When at school I will follow the rules.
10. Rules at home and at school keep me safe and teach me.
11. 9 year olds, like me, do not throw food, we eat food.
12. I will do as I’m told, when I’m told at school – no arguing.
These lines will teach my brain how to make good choices.
It is interesting to see the areas we were working on. Another two reasons for the booklet were: it was good to not always hear my voice and it was a way for me to say, check your book, if the maiden had a question about if something was a good choice or way to act.
Some of these guidelines were general for any child, but some were based on the attachment therapy we were going to and reinforcing that the maiden was safe and that trusted adults were in charge and she could lessen her need to control.