Why can’t we all get along? What is preventing it? What part do we all play in the war? Why can’t we stop it?
I have had even less alone time since the last post. I am agitated. I know that and I have shared that with the crone. I can’t share it with the maiden – she will think I do not love her. Her brain still cannot understand sometimes people need space.
Why do I have time now? Because the crone left in a huff about an hour ago because the maiden hadn’t yet taken the crone’s dog out for a walk – the maiden’s “job” on a Sunday – so the crone can have a break – but we were at war because I asked the crone to stop trying to parent my daughter. She said she wouldn’t have to if I was doing my job.
I guess because I don’t do things on the crone’s schedule or expectation I am wrong. A bad person. Lazy. Neglecting my duties.
I don’t know if I will post this – I might delete it – I find these types of posts are uncomfortable and not liked. Why is that I wonder? Because it is not a nice one. My family does not know I have this blog – because I need a private place to share my life – to find if anyone else has similar issues and how they may have coped.
To share my experience raising a child with complex special needs in case someone else is struggling – so that they know there is someone else who understands.
The maiden is inside with her Pokemon – she didn’t sell any – she is organizing again. I am on the deck and will go mow the lawn to help calm me down – and then I will spend some time in my garden. That always nourishes my soul.
My soul is empty now.